“All of humanity’s problems stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
This famous observation by Blaise Pascal resonates more than ever in today’s hyperconnected world. There are moments when everyone around us seems busy—your parents might be away for the weekend, your partner might have plans with friends or family, your sibling lives far away, and your best friend is occupied with their own life. In these moments, the only constant in your life is you.
So why do we dread spending time alone? There’s a profound difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Loneliness is often unchosen and accompanied by feelings of isolation, while solitude is a conscious choice—a gift we give ourselves to recharge and reflect.
I used to despise being alone. It felt unbearable, as if the world was ending. My thoughts would spiral, and I’d do everything I could to avoid the experience. In contrast, my best friend loved her “me-time.” She called it her sacred time to do whatever she wanted, free from distractions or obligations. Inspired by her approach, I slowly learned to embrace solitude. Over time, it became an essential part of my life—a space where I could truly know and love myself.
Why Are We Never Alone Anymore?
In an eye-opening study conducted at the University of Virginia, participants were asked to spend a short time alone with their thoughts. They were even given the option of receiving an electric shock if they found the experience unbearable. Shockingly, a large number of participants preferred the electric shock over solitude. This aversion underscores how disconnected we’ve become from the practice of simply being with ourselves.
We are inherently social beings, and the advent of technology has amplified our constant need for connection. With smartphones, we’re never truly alone. Whether scrolling through social media, watching YouTube videos, or liking posts, we’re always plugged into a digital world. Waiting at a café or in line at a store, most of us instinctively reach for our phones. Similarly, devices like iPods, audiobooks, and in-car calling features ensure that we’re perpetually entertained or connected.
But this endless connection comes at a cost—it leaves little room for solitude, creativity, and self-reflection.
Why Me-Time Is Important:
1. Creativity Flourishes in Solitude
In Digital Minimalism, Cal Newport highlights how Henry David Thoreau wrote Walden while living alone in the woods. Long, solitary walks allowed him to distill his thoughts into profound ideas. Similarly, Friedrich Nietzsche would spend hours strolling, formulating the core of his philosophy. Solitude unlocks creativity in ways constant noise cannot.
2. Understanding Yourself
Me-time allows you to truly know yourself—your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and dreams. It’s a chance to sit with your thoughts, show compassion for your imperfections, and fall in love with who you are.
3. Reflection and Decision-Making
In a world filled with external opinions, solitude provides clarity. It’s a time to reflect on your deepest desires and life’s trajectory. Are you living the life you want? What changes can you make today to shape your future?
4. Problem Solving
Some of the best solutions come during quiet contemplation. For example, Inside Out director Pete Docter couldn’t think of the best ending scene for the movie, he quietly went for a walk and started thinking about how his life will turn out if this movie didn’t have a good ending with zero success at the box office. He came to the realisation that sadness is also an important aspect of our lives. Hence, he decided that is how the movie should end.
How to Spend Your Me-Time:
- Go for a Walk Without Distractions
Leave your phone at home and take a walk. No podcasts, no audiobooks, no blaring music—just you and your thoughts. If you’re like me and tend to forget ideas, carry a pocket notebook to jot them down.
- Go on a Solo Date
Visit a restaurant or café alone without your phone. I know the thought might be daunting, but I’ve done it a few times, and it was amazing. Sitting in my favorite café, eating pasta, watching the world go by—it was one of the best experiences of my life.
- Watch Your Favorite Show
When you’re alone, you don’t have to compromise on what to watch. No debates or convincing anyone—just you, your favorite show, and the freedom to binge if you want to.
- Order Takeaway from Your Favorite Restaurant
Treat yourself to a delicious meal from your favorite place and savor it. It’s a small indulgence, but it feels incredibly rewarding.
- Journaling
This is my personal favorite. Journaling helps me process my thoughts, brainstorm ideas, and even plan blog posts. It’s like pouring all your emotions—the good, bad, and neutral—onto paper and letting them go. It’s truly therapeutic.
- Read a Book You’ve Been Putting Off
Pick up that book you’ve been postponing because you “didn’t have time.” Me-time is perfect for getting lost in its pages and reconnecting with your love for reading.
Embrace the Power of Solitude:
In a world that celebrates constant activity, taking time for yourself can feel revolutionary. But solitude isn’t about being anti-social—it’s about reconnecting with your inner self. It’s in these quiet moments that creativity blooms, clarity emerges, and self-love deepens.
The next time you find yourself alone, resist the urge to fill the silence. Instead, welcome it as an opportunity to recharge, reflect, and rediscover the joy of simply being with yourself. You might just find that me-time is one of the most rewarding investments you can make.
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